As my time in Ghana comes to a close I am more than ever reflecting back on what this semester has meant to my life. This semester has forced me to change so many things about myself. I have had to admit to areas where I need help and judgments I didn’t know I was making. And I believe now, more than ever, that life is about people.
It has been small moments, barely noticeable to anyone else that have worked their way into my heart and mind. I have had to learn how to be patient. Well really more than patient, I have had to learn how to be okay with not being in control. There is no step by step process to study abroad. You cannot get an A in living in a 3rd world country. You will never have a day go “as planned.”
Queuing hours in line to register for classes. Sitting for seemingly endless hours in tro tros not moving. Waiting for friends to meet for lunch. Standing in a market while your vegetables are picked out one by one. Laying in bed because its too hot to move and the electricity isn’t working. I still like a schedule, I won’t lie. But I am much more able to be flexible, to accept that I have no control over the direction my day will take. I wish I could take credit for getting there myself but I can’t. It was the Ghanaians laughing and talking pleasantly no matter how slow registration went. It was the children who were excited that they were able to sell water to us while we traffic stopped. It was knowing that the friend you are waiting for is probably making someone else’s day by stopping to talk. It was the women in the market who barely make enough money to survive yet took the time to ask about my day. It was my roommate apologizing for the electricity outages as if she had personal responsibility. I can’t recall an instance where people got irritated about aspects of life that were out of their control. I needed help letting go of that control.
Before I came here I would have never said that I thought my way of life was better than anyone else’s, but somewhere deep inside I admit now I thought so. There is no right way to live. Living in a brick house isn’t more right than living in a mud hut. Just because something is necessary in my world does not mean it is necessary for everyone else. Despite the knowledge that I was gaining so much from our partnership in Kpoeta building a health care center, I think I was discrediting Kpoeta, Ghana, the world. How often do I admit I have a problem, ask for help, and receive it with thanks. How did I not see that asking someone to work with you is one of the greatest acts of humility. I think the US could use a little of that. We might find we have a lot of areas that need improvement. Yes Ghana needs better sanitation systems, higher functioning technology, better health care and nutrition, and well-funded education. But Ghanaians know how to live simply, they are masters at making the best of a situation, they know how to work hard and then let go. I always believed that different cultures had things to teach other, but that goes deeper than I ever knew. I feel lucky that I might get to act as a bridge between 2 cultures for someone else.
When I felt lost here it was people, not books, maps, or any object that made me understand. When I felt alone I had people in all different areas of my life remind me of their presence. When I wondered about where I fit in this big world, it was people who showed me. I still have a lot of questions about my life. What am I going to do when I grow up? When will I settle down? Where am I going to live? Why is there so much pain in the world? How will I decide where I should be? It seems the only question I don’t have is WHO I am going to be. I am going to be a person who has compassion for the world and myself. I am someone who is going to ask questions. I am someone who loves to learn. I am someone who finds joy in people. And I am someone who needs people.
“You can kiss your family and friends good-bye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, your stomach, because you do not just live in a world but a world lives in you.” (Frederick Buechner)
I have carried my loved ones with me here, and I will carry the new loves in my heart back. And no matter where this life takes me, I know that part of who I am is the family and friends I carry inside my heart.
It will be sad to say goodbye to Ghana, to Sophie. But I know that I am taking them with me wherever I go. You cannot forget what has become a part of who you are. And I know they are part of WHO I am. Forever.
oh and here are some links to photos from the past month or so
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2001559&l=2dc6e&id=1462410022
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2001586&l=2e95f&id=1462410022
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